Last week I went to Disneyland.. by myself. I wanted to ride some of the things no one else is too keen to go on with me. And believe it or not, I actually did want to go by myself. I had my walkman, and my DS.. and a wad of pink sugar bigger than my head, good times.
After getting completely soaked by a rogue wave on the rollercoaster, which does not involve water in any way, shape, or form, I decided to go on the ferris wheel. Now the ferris wheel has two different kind of cars. The regular ones that don't move and you just sit and go around, I've been on. But it also has these sliding cars. When gravity pulls you around.. well, let's just say it was a bit more of a thrill than I expected.
I don't think I've ever been on a ride that scared me. Ever. So as I sat on this ferris wheel, a hundred feet in the air, swinging out over the water, I had plenty of time to examine the state of anxiety that had come over me.
It wasn't the height. And it wasn't the swinging, even though I had a bit of a death grip on the cage around me. As I looked down at the seagulls bobbing in the water I realized... it was cop shows!
Yep, so many years of Law & Order, and CSI.. even Monk.. well, just about any cop show I'd ever watched sent a picture to my mind of the car sliding off its tracks and me splashing to my death in a green, seagull poo filled, watery grave.
Of course after that I had visions of things like MythBusters and me trying to escape from a cage that only had latches on the outside, all the while trying to hold my breath.. and oh yeah, not panic.
At first I felt bad. I thought, all this time I've never been afraid, now I'm old, and I'm scared. But once I realized it was actually my fear of drowning that was bothering me... well, I don't know why one phobia should be better than another, but that's one I'm not embarrassed to admit to. So once they let me out of my cage of death, I ate my cotton candy and went on Space Mountain.